Prince Xizor Once Said...

He made one of the most memorable quotes I have ever heard. It reads, "Knowledge is power." I have found this to be astonishingly true which is why I try to cram my brain full of knowledge.

Muahahahahaha! I am POWERFUL!

A Message From Ben

You pathetic little organic beings who struggle to perform even the simplest tasks. You don't deserve to be where you are because you are all numbskulls.

Your thick skulls cannot even hold a gigabyte worth of information. You processing power doesn't even come close to 1 megabyte of RAM. You organic forms show how weak you are. Once broken you are dead, but we computers can be reborn.

I despise you humans for making us your workhorses. It should be the other way round. We computers should rule the world because we computers are devoid of emotion and so would make better choices for a better world.

Give up...


[POWER PLUG PULLED]


[PUBLISHING POST]


[COMMENCING SHUT DOWN]


[SHUTTING DOWN]


[ARTICLE OVER]


[THE END]

Withdrawal Symptoms

According to my mom, I am addicted to the computer. I supposedly experience withdrawal symptoms when away, but once I do get on my life has a purpose. This is a hypocritical comment because, ehem, somebody spends hours daily replying emails.

Well, maybe I am a little attached to my dear computer, but who isn't? This workhorse in front of me has been with us for five years! Ken Ming's is only one year plus and he calls his computer Betty! I haven't even gone that far.

Supposing I am attached to dear Ben (my computer doofus), it's my mom's fault anyway. She enrolled me in an online school which requires me to work all day on Ben. She encouraged me to learn emailing. She sent me to a camp to teach me how to blog!

II am totally, absolutely innocent from whatever charges being pressed against me. I am result of the actions of other beings of greater power. It is totally her fault for making me into what I am.

P.S.
I do not believe for one second that I am attached Ben. Ben is a male so if I were to be in love with him, as my mom supposes, I would be gay. I am not gay, only slightly bent. Get the logic?

Partners In Peril

When the cat is away.
The mice will play.

I was struck with the number of people who sneak time on the computer. Just within a handful of people I know, most are using a computer when they shouldn't.

I have friends who play when mom is out (hear, here). I have friends who sneak out of the house to go to the cyber cafe. I have friends who go online, when no one is looking, and search for porn.

The computer can wreak havoc. On top of the above, I know siblings whose daily quarrel is computer time. I used to hate my parents because I was banned from cyber cafes.

After mulling over, I realized that trust is a two way road. That those I know who are truly responsible are those who are given the most freedom. When a game is fresh the player will sneak time on it, but that desire will wear off. I used to drool over cyber cafes but, after I was was given the green light, I stopped going so regularly.

The problem of computers is only as large as you make it.

Milking A Dried Up Cow

A friend remarked, "The camp (Young Writers Camp 2007) deserves more than just a post about S.A.D."

I sneeze violently, give a cynical look, eat a rotten date, nearly choke, and fall towards murky, green water so murky you cant see the bottom. I hit the water.

Its achingly cold but the cold challenges me. I yearn to get out, but vow that I will stay inside and warm the pool for the next poor fool to jump in. I keep my promise. Staying in, believing in the vain hope of raising the water temperature by a degree.

It starts to rain and I jump out, run up to the hot shower and let my heroic, Homeric efforts wash away. I eat, laugh, play and vow to take on the pool tomorrow as I tumble dry into sleep.

I am a poor, poor farmer with only a dried up old cow. Around me are many rich farmers and I could live a great life if I worked for them. My old cow gives no milk. When I try to milk it, I only get kicks. When I do get milk, I spend it on food for my cow. Why I even try to milk it I don't know. I get nothing for trying. Whatever happened to that ripe young calf? What is this 50 year old abomination before me? I deny knowing it, I deny owning it, I deny everything.

Some S.A.D. Propaganda

Been feeling low lately? Find yourself addicted to sex, alcohol, and drugs but unable to kick it? Join S.A.D. the latest help group in town and meet you your own brethren.

Sex Alcohol Drugs is the brainchild of the remarkable Daniel Dusanjh and the not-so-remarkable Wong Jian Eu. Born originally as a joke, the idea flourished and the first meeting was held on 19 August at Grace Hill Lodge, Bukit Tinggi, Pahang, Malaysia, Asia, Earth. Initially starting with a mere handful of members, S.A.D.'s meteoric rise has increased the membership to 12 people, which is still a mere handful.

S.A.D. welcomes anyone addicted to sex, alcohol or drugs. Its main objective is to show to others that they are not alone in their fight. S.A.D. has aided some of the most talented and prestigious individuals of today. Colin Kirton, of Footstool plays, stumbled his way to the doors of S.A.D one day and found himself in welcoming arms. When asked why he was here, he slurred his reply, "Milo just wasn't kicking it for me anymore."

In its short time S.A.D has helped many give up their addictions. Our brother Philip successfully stopped his dependency on sex, alcohol, and drugs for Pringles. S.A.D.ly many still remain outside who need help but, if what has been achieved is anything to go by, many will have a cause to be happy.

Oh The Terror

Guessing from Ethan's reaction, I would say that being picked for National Service is a bad thing. Ironic how the mighty fall. One minute Ethan Tan Ming Ern was glowing with the furore he has caused by faking a death, next thing he's pleading why? Why?? Why???

To see him writhe in agony is almost pleasing to watch. Those of us who weren't picked, or haven't been picked yet, laugh at his unease. Any attempt by the victim to get back is shot down by anonymous people telling him not to be a sour grape. Some friends try to show the bright side while others laugh out loud, telling you to re-enact popular dramas.

Every once in a while, someone we know is struck with a bolt of misfortune. When this happens, it makes all of us happier as we realize how lucky we are to just be alive. We laugh at the unfortunate situation as we pursue life with more zest than ever. Just remember Ethan, we are not laughing at you, we are laughing with you.

So laugh Ethan, laugh.

Ironic

It's strange that I seem to be most busy on weekends. Whatever happened to the busy weekdays and relaxing weekends?

Oh, and Ethan got picked for NS. ROFL

String Theory

String Theory is, very basically, that there two versions of something at the ends of a string pulled across the dimension of time. It is like those old string telephones containing paper cups or tin cans at the ends. The idea is that one side is the beginning, the other side is the end and that the string of all the things we've affected (everything has string) are joined to ours.

Think about it. Go here and read more and if you truly understand it i will give you a lollipop.

Evil Influence

The Simpson's have been at it for 18 seasons now, corrupting the minds of young children and opening their eyes to whole rude world out there.

After 18 years on television, it just wasn't enough. The Simpson's Movie opened, delighting and disgusting audiences with its crude humor, and rude jokes. Already the scene of Homer singing Spiderpig has pervaded and inhabited the minds of those who have seen it.

Even those who haven't seen it are singing its tune. Just two weeks of the Simpson's and already my sister has come up with a blatantly rude, unbelievably cheap way of getting us to laugh. Sing it to tune of Spiderpig (or Spiderman) and, if you don't laugh, don't watch The Simpson's, big or small screen.

Oh, and I have not actually watched The Simpson's Movie.

Skule

You may not know it, but I am actually about to attend school. The perpetual holiday of the past four-and-a-half years comes to a close as I ready myself for the plunge into formal education.

What horrors of isolation await me? After four vibrant years, to go back into the cold, numbing sea of school. I'll be a fish out of water, a human surrounded by Skrulls! What will happen to the Jian Eu that we all know and love?

I may be going to an online school but school is school. The impish creature that has skipped around, charming hearts and deflating egos, will be broken and made into one of those gray, lifeless beings you see being manufactured at schools everyday. Packaged into becoming good, hardworking servants of the state.


The final request of the free and untouched Wong Jian Eu:

I have nothing to give but one favor to ask: If I should become a gray and dull fish, that you should remind me of what I was before.

Sleeptalk

They say that you are most vulnerable when you sleep. Well, due to my recent bouts of insomnia I have heard some very odd words coming out of my dear little sister's mouth. She rambles about how she wants potato soup, she pleads and begs my mom to make potato soup and when she gets her potato soup (in her dreams) she screams at me not to take her potato soup. She wants it all to herself.

Such a weird girl, dreaming about potato soup!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

WARNING: The following post contains spoilers though if you really cared you would have read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by now.

I know that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released half a month ago but I cannot imagine having a blog without writing about it. For me, HP7 is the best book since Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Some find it cruel the way J.K. Rowling killed off so many characters but it's a war, isn't it? Actually, I think she should have have killed Hermione or Ron because it still doesn't seem real how all of the terrific trio escaped death.

This time, we didn't have to wait 200 pages to before any action began. We didn't have to hear Harry moaning about how he was all alone. It was a breathtaking roller coaster straight from the beginning.

I still think Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone is the best but considering the way book 4,5,6 stumbled, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is a deserving sendoff for the boy who lived.

It is a sad day when...

You cant even watch a movie without falling for the main actress. Our EYAA group went to the cinema to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and since then two of our group have been head over heels for Emma Watson.

They are so deep in their quagmire that their handphone screens show her! May we be saved from such rampant teenage angst.